Some of us are givers, some of us are takers, and some of us have that great balance of giving and taking, which is something I am still working on. When you grow up not feeling loved, you tend to be a giver. You want others to be happy and their happiness makes you happy. There are lines that can be crossed when you tend to be a giver….or what some people call….a people pleaser.

Although I love to be a people pleaser, because I use to think I’d be loved/liked more if I did what people asked me to do, I now am a people pleaser to only those who do not take advantage of my kindness or generosity. Yes I still love the feeling of being loved/liked…..but not at my emotional expense. I have trouble saying no….this is a people pleaser trait. I’m a slow learner at times, I’m in that stage where I’m learning to say no, but I tend to say no…with an apology.

Did I mention the importance of journaling???? As I journaled my past days events, I realized I had trouble saying no to something I really didn’t have time to do. It took a co-worker/friend to talk me into letting the other person know that I just couldn’t take on anymore. Do we need to explain why we can’t do something for someone….not really… Some would say you don’t and some will say you should. I chose to explained why I couldn’t take on anymore. I felt good about it and life is all about making decisions that help you to feel good.

If you are journaling and you find you are writing about people taking advantage of your kindness….or stepping all over you, it’s time to re-evaluate the things you are enjoying doing in life and those things you are doing to please others while you are miserable doing it. Life is a balance, a balance of saying yes and a balance of saying no. We shouldn’t say no to everything we don’t want to do, because then we wouldn’t learn, but we should say no, without guilt, to things that overwhelm us just because someone is trying to get out of doing what they should really be doing.

I enjoy helping others when I know they are overwhelmed and need help, I enjoy helping others learn to help themselves, I also enjoy helping myself gain strength by not being stepped on by others. So my lesson in this message is to help those who need it without jeopardizing your own sanity.

Not feeling guilty after you say no to someone is a long process to learn…especially when you have been a people pleaser all of your life, but you can do it. Don’t let others make you feel guilty…they will either ask someone else to do it…or they will become a stronger person by doing it themselves, which is a win/win situation for all involved.

Each day we can become a stronger self. Each day is a precious lesson. Each day is a gift. So learn to love yourself and not be stepped on. Learn to help others who truly need help, and help those who don’t know how to help themselves, but pay attention to those who step on you when they shouldn’t. You are in control of where people step on you….You are simply….in control. (hugs)

Trust the Journey and Life Lessons,

Alexis