Trying to write about grieving in a positive way is difficult. Grieving does not have a true answer on how to handle it. Because we are individuals, we all handle grieving differently. There is no right way to grieve a loss. I remember when my grandfather passed away. I was living in Hawaii and was told he passed by a telegram. I was heartbroken because I was not close to anyone in my family but my grandparents. I still remember the day I read the telegram and for the next three days, I sat on the corner of the couch and cried none stop. I had so much hatred in my heart for not knowing he passed soon enough to go to the funeral.

I now think of all the best times I had with my grandfather. His heart was big and he was the most amazing man I have ever met….I still believe this to be true today. He is my spirit and we still talk …A LOT (I believe he can hear me). Heck….I once had what I thought was a dream where my grandfather stood over me and told me he was ok. I still shed tears thinking about him, but then I smile knowing how incredibly lucky I was to have him in my life.

I have not loss many people in my life. I had a highschool girlfriend who I became close to about 40 years after we graduated. She was a prom princess, sweet, popular, and just a very kind person. She got into the wrong crowd and I am proud to say that after we connected, she left the guy who was bringing her down, got a job, a place of her own and was doing so much better. I found out she passed away via “Facebook” a couple days after I told her I couldn’t meet her as I was in another state. I will always regret not meeting with her.

When you lose a pet, friend, or family member….you can’t turn off your brain from grieving. Grieving does not have a timeline. We start to grieve when we know someone is ill and they are at the end. I have a friend who is passing from cancer as I write this and the grieving started years ago. This man is a fighter and his wife and son where his energy to keep him going. This man was the most courageous, loving, funny, and all around amazing man (just like my grandfather), his wife (one of my closest friends) has been by his side encouraging him, being his cheerleader, friend, and the best wife a man could ask for. I love this couple and I can’t imagine what my friend is going through.

Grieving does not have an ending point. Memories are a saving grace. I try to teach people that grieving is a sign of true love and dedication. You will always grieve the ones you love, whether they be animals or humans, you will always have things in your life that remind you of them. I try to remember by what a wonderful human/animal they were/are and to continue to cry for the great memories, cry for the emptiness, and cry because you feel loss. All I ask is for you to remember…those memories are real….those times you shared are real…those hard times you shared are real….the grieving is real, and it’s ok to feel all the emotions you are feeling.

I know my friend who is passing touch my heart in so many ways. I will continue to talk to him and thank him for all the memories we shared and him making the best asparagus a vegetable hater could ever love to eat. I will hold onto every memory I have for my friends/family who have passed. They have given me wisdom in my life, which I will forever be grateful.

So please….know that grieving is life long, but also remember that those who have left us and we loved them…..they have taught us life lessons, which we should never forget.

I dedicate this post to my friend Dan, and my Grandfather Herman.

Trust the Journey and Life Lessons,

Alexis